Sunday, January 29, 2017

Memories of Dad

Yes I did miss a week! 
Some how being sick is not conductive to being productive. I am all better now and ready to write another post.

This week's question is:
 What memories do you have of your father?
 Include his name, birth day, birth place, and so on?
I have written a few posts on my Dad before and they can be found, HERE, HERE, HERE,  there are a few more.

So my Dad, is George Joseph Hartmann, Jr. 
He was born July 6th 1912 
in Astoria, Queens, New York, USA.
He went to school in College Point, Queens, New York. He did attend college to be a teacher but didn't like teaching so be became a fireman. He drove the back end of the hook and ladder. 

He was an interesting person and had a funny way of saying things. He told us we are so American we came over on the Mayflower. As a child I thought that our family came over on the Mayflower, but what he was trying to say was that we were American, and only American. As a child during WWI and a young adult during WWII and of German decent and living in a German community I think he might have experience some prejudice. 

He won't tell me a lot of stories about his family but his sister my aunt let me in on a little secret. His Mom was pregnant with him when they married. Sure enough their marriage certificate states they were married December 29, 1911, he was born in July. 

He had a bit of a double standard, he told my brother in front of me to try the milk before he bought the cow and turned around and told me I was not allowed to let anyone sample the milk. 

He had a crusty but effective way of tell us about the birds and the bees. What he told me was the girl is the one who has the belly ache for 9 months and the rest of the problems for 18 years. The guy mean while goes off and gives another girl a belly ache.  Luckily my Mom had given me the real talk before she died. 

He was devastated to have two wives die on him. He took it as a personal abandonment.  They both died in February and they both died of cancer. First he was left alone with an infant girl and the second time with four children from age 16 to 5. 

He drank a lot after my second Mom died, he drank before but he was able to keep it in control afterwards he was a functional alcoholic and he was miserable when he was home. He was always able to work on is day. He was driven to take care of the kids. 

There were good memories but there are a lot of bad memories also. He became verbally abusive to me after Mom died. He did the best he could with the skills, knowledge and abilities he had at that time. His coping skills had to be at rock bottom after losing two wives to a very devastating disease. I don't usually talk about it but though my own growth and a personal spiritual experience through learning to forgive. I learned that he had a very difficult life and I will never know how difficult it was. It was something I wanted to share because sometimes life is messy but has a good ending. 

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